


Bonding Over a Common Experience

by Peridaniel



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-17 00:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21508000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridaniel/pseuds/Peridaniel
Summary: In which Spike comforts Willow about Tara's mind-sucking, reminding her that he knows what it's like.Takes place during s5e20- Spiral.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Bonding Over a Common Experience

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen several people, in relation to the scene where Tara pulls the blinds up in the van and hurts Spike, saying that Spike is most likely thinking of his time spent with Drusilla during that moment, and some wishing there would have been a conversation between him and Will about it. Well, when you want something done, you gotta do it yourself ig (even though I bet it's been done before). 
> 
> Idk when this would have been able to take place, but eh, I'm sure they would have had at least one offscreen moment?

Amidst all the action of fighting the Knights of Byzantium and trying to keep a barrier spell up around the Four Aces, Spike and Willow ended up together as the latter kept a close eye on Tara, who sat idly, appearing to swat at nonexistent bugs. 

Willow deeply sighed, breaking the silence and prompting Spike to glance over at her.

"This, um, isn't gonna really sound like much coming from me," he began a bit awkwardly, "but... I know what it's like. Seeing someone you care about with, you know, not everything working right upstairs." 

Willow looked back at him. "Hm?" 

"Well, you know, Drusilla. I'm sure you remember her from a couple years back." 

Willow nodded rapidly at that. "Oh, yea. I remember." Her tone was flat and distracted, but showed understanding. 

"She was a lovely woman," continued Spike. 

"Oh, yea, _so_ lovely of her to kill our friend in cold blood." 

"Lovely to me, smart mouth" Spike cut her off. "I really cared about her. It hurt me to see her in that state. As much as I know it hurts you to see your girl in this state." He pointed to Tara, who was now walking around, staring absentmindedly at a wall. 

Willow nodded more slowly. "You been thinking about her a lot?" 

"Absolutely," Spike replied. "I've moved on from her in, you know, the romantic sense, but seeing Tara like this has been bringing back memories. Everytime she starts babbling nonsense, I think of when Dru did the same, and I'd try to get her to come back down to earth. Everytime, she starts wandering about, I think of when Dru did the same and I'd have to go and find her. And everytime she goes mad and cries-" He cut off and looked away, glancing at the floor.

"You think of when Dru would do the same," Willow finished, "and you'd have to calm her down." 

Spike briskly nodded, his jaw tightening. "It hurt so damn much, Will. Especially when I couldn't manage to do that." 

He looked back up at Willow, his eyes glazed with the sadness of many painful memories. "There's a reason Buffy knew you were goin' after Glory yesterday. I knew damn well how much you wanted to kill her, and I knew nothing would stop you from trying. You know how many days I wanted to do the same to Angel?" He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Well, I had other reasons, but... you know."

"For someone without a soul, you sure are empathetic." 

"Never say that again," Spike stated, raising his bandaged hand to her face. Putting it down, he said, "Really, I'm just relaying my own experiences. I loved someone who lost her mind, you love someone who's lost her mind, it's bonding over a common experience." He gave her a split-second smile.

Willow smiled back before sighing and looking back to Tara with a frown. "Thing is, though, Drusilla never did get better, did she?" 

Spike solemnly shook his head. "But, hey, you're a powerful witch. Buffy's planning on kicking Glory's ass one way or another. I'm sure it won't be the same case for Tara, yea?" 

"I sure hope not." Willow looked at the floor. 

"Of course not." Spike gave her a couple pats on the back. "I sure hope not." 

"Why?" Willow asked. "Sick of the traumatic memories, or whatever?" 

"And because- and don't you _dare_ tell anyone else this, or I'll drain every ounce of your blood, chip in my head be damned- I actually give a damn about her," Spike replied. "And you. And a good lot of you Scoobies, for that matter. Well, except Xander." He scoffed at that notion. "But why else would I punch her in the face and give myself a bloody migraine just to prove a point to her misogynistic crap excuse for a family?" 

Willow looked at him with confusion. "But didn't you say you didn't care what happened? And even when you did that, didn't you say-" she imitated his voice- "'You're a piece of work. I like you.'" 

"Maybe part of me really didn't care, and did like him," responded Spike with a shrug. "I may be a fair bit better than most, but I'm still evil. No soul up here, like the prettyboy." He rolled his eyes. "But, I dunno. I guess no amount of demon can fully erase the sickeningly sweet and timid William Pratt." 

"William Pratt?" 

"That's my real name, though usually people preferred 'William the Bloody' before I started going by Spike."

"Because you killed a lot of people?" 

Spike sheepishly looked away before answering. "Yea. Yea, that's it." 

"Willow!" The two turned to see Tara stumbling towards Willow with the gait of a toddler. 

"Aw, what is it, sweetie?" asked Willow, putting her hand on her shoulder. Looking to Spike, she said, "Well, uh, good conversation, but I think we need to cut it short now." 

"Of course, yea." 

"But, um, thanks." Willow smiled. 

"No problem." Spike gave a small half-smile back. 

"Pretty hair," Tara said with a dopey grin as she looked at Spike, reaching for his head and petting him. 

"Tara," Willow said softly, but firmly, gently pulling away her hand. 

Spike, however, waved her off. "If I can handle her nearly burning my hand off, I can handle a bit of hair ruffling. Haven't had much time to slick it back like I usually do anyway, as you can probably tell." 

And so, he gracefully put his head down, thoughts of Drusilla coming back to him. 

_We better bring this girl back._

**Author's Note:**

> Spike showing his tender side before he gets his soul makes me weak. I mean, Spike showing his tender side in general makes me weak, but it's especially touching when it's before he had a soul. It's just one of the many reasons I love season 5.


End file.
